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sws4420
01-19-2007, 10:39 AM
SACRAMENTO - The state Legislature is about to weigh in on a question that stirs impassioned debate among moms and dads: Should parents spank their children?

Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, wants to outlaw spanking children up to 3 years old. If she succeeds, California would become the first state in the nation to explicitly ban parents from smacking their kids.

Making a swat on the behind a misdemeanor might seem a bit much for some -- and the chances of the idea becoming law appear slim, at best -- but Lieber begs to differ.

"I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child 3 years old or younger,'' Lieber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?''

The bill, which is still being drafted, will be written broadly, she added, prohibiting "any striking of a child, any corporal punishment, smacking, hitting, punching, any of that.'' Lieber said it would be a misdemeanor, punishable by up to a year in jail or a fine up to $1,000, although a legal expert advising her on the proposal said first-time offenders would probably only have to attend parenting classes.

The idea is encountering skepticism even before it's been formally introduced. Beyond the debate among child psychologists -- many of whom believe limited spanking can be effective -- the bill is sure to face questions over how practical it is to enforce and opposition from some legislators who generally oppose what they consider "nanny government.''

"Where do you stop?'' asked Assemblyman Chuck DeVore, R-Irvine, who said he personally agrees children under 3 shouldn't be spanked but has no desire to make it the law. "At what point are we going to say we should pass a bill that every parent has to read a minimum of 30 minutes every night to their child? This is right along those same lines.''

One San Jose mother of three said she believes spanking is a poor way to discipline children, but she also wondered whether a legislative ban makes sense. Should a mom who slaps her misbehaving kid in the supermarket, she asked, be liable for a crime?

"If my 6-year-old doesn't put his clothes in the hamper, I'm not going to whack him. He just won't get his clothes washed,'' said Peggy Hertzberg, 38, who teaches parenting classes at the YWCA. "I think instead of banning spanking, parents need to learn different ways of disciplining and redirecting their children.''

Lieber conceived the idea while chatting with a family friend and legal expert in children's issues worldwide. The friend, Thomas Nazario, said that while banning spanking might seem like a radical step for the United States, more than 10 European countries already do so. Sweden was the first, in 1979.

Nazario said there's no good rationale for hitting a child under 3, so the state should draw a "bright line'' in the law making it clear.

"Why do we allow parents to hit a little child and not someone their own size?'' asked Nazario, a professor at the University of San Francisco Law School. "Everyone in the state is protected from physical violence, so where do you draw the line? To take a child and spank his little butt until he starts crying, some people would define that as physical violence.''

It's unclear how a spanking ban would be enforced. Most slapping, after all, happens in the confines of a home, and most children up to age 3 aren't capable of reporting it.

Doctors, social workers and others who believe a child has been abused are required by law to report it to authorities. Nazario said he and Lieber are still debating whether to treat slapping the same way, or simply to encourage those who witness it to report it. But in either case, said Lieber, the law "would allow people who view a beating to say, `Excuse me, that's against the law.' ''

Experts in child psychology disagree over whether spanking is a legitimate or effective way for parents to discipline their children. Professor Robert Larzelere, who has studied child discipline for 30 years, said his research shows spanking is fine, as long as it's used sparingly and doesn't escalate to abuse.

"If it's used in a limited way,'' the Oklahoma State University professor said, "it can be more effective than almost any other type of punishment.'' He added that children 18 months old or younger shouldn't be spanked at all, because they can't understand why it's happening.

As for Lieber's proposal, the professor said: "I think this proposal is not just a step too far, it's a leap too far. At least from a scientific perspective there really isn't any research to support the idea that this would make things better for children.''

But Lieber is optimistic that lawmakers will find her proposal hard to resist. For the record, she does not have children and says she was not slapped as a child. But she does have a cat named Snoop, which her veterinarian told her never to hit.

"And if you never hit a cat,'' Lieber said, "you should never hit a kid.''


http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/politics/16487654.htm?source=rss

trojanmiro
01-19-2007, 10:53 AM
2 and under, or under two i can see. i personally believe that spanking is ok. and i believe that at age three is a good time to start it. they call 2 the terrible twos, but i dont really think they are that bad. they just walk around and get into things. 3 is when they start to develop an attitude and challenge your authority. i just feel like timesouts just dont cut it sometimes, and they need a little attitude adjustment. so crack the kid on the ass once and then put them in timeout.

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 11:11 AM
I disagree with you about 2 year-olds not having an attitude. I am a firm believer that spanking is ok.

Dave
01-19-2007, 11:34 AM
I disagree with you about 2 year-olds not having an attitude. I am a firm believer that spanking is ok.

I second that motion and so do my parents.

They wooped my ass good when I deserved it. I hated it then. My dad even gave us kids the number to child services to use if we thought we were being abused. We never called. We all turned out OK.

It's all about being a parent and not a friend. I am, however, now friends with my parents and respect their parenting technique's. I hope to employ some of those technique's upon my own children when I have them.

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 11:38 AM
I do a mixed disapline system. I use time outs, I use spankings, I will put them in thier room and let them scream it out also. There is no one perfect way to raise kids. Every parent needs to find what works for them and thier kids and not have to worry about the government interferring. Spanking and beating are completely different things.

sws4420
01-19-2007, 12:42 PM
My kids are well-behaved, for the most part. Each one of them has been spanked by me. I don't see it as abusive as long as it's not the answer to every little thing and isn't done to a huge extent.

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 12:49 PM
My biggest problem with my older two kids is I don't think that they get disaplined the 5 days a week I don't have them. With seeing the injuries and comments made by the ex-mother-in-law they are allowed to run wild and it takes time for them to understand that they can not do that when they are with me.

Mel
01-19-2007, 12:50 PM
I've tapped Joccy's bottom and tapped her hands. Other than that, I use my voice and I have this evil stare that I think I got from my mother, lol. We haven't gotten the time out thing down yet. She knows if she's doing something wrong and I tell her to stop and she doesn't. All I have to do is stand up and walk towards her and then she stops. Sometimes she goes back and does the same thing. Other times she doesn't. She knows I really mean business when I raise my voice (yell) and put her in her bed.

I agree w/you Medic (don't know your name - sorry). 2 year olds definitely have attitudes. Shit, Joccy's not even 2 and she's developed quite the attitude in the past few months. I'm told she gets it from me *rolls eyes*.

Raising kids, no matter how many you've had. Is a learning experience for each one. Discipline is a hit and miss. What works for one child, doesn't always work for the next.

sws4420
01-19-2007, 12:50 PM
RYAN

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 12:52 PM
I got the evil look down good. A couple of weeks ago Amber smaked Paige in the head. All I had to do was look at her and she turned away, walked to the time out corner, facedown on the floor and started crying.

Mel
01-19-2007, 12:53 PM
RYAN


LOL TY

You act like you've told me that before?

sws4420
01-19-2007, 12:54 PM
I think I have.

Mel
01-19-2007, 12:55 PM
I got the evil look down good. A couple of weeks ago Amber smaked Paige in the head. All I had to do was look at her and she turned away, walked to the time out corner, facedown on the floor and started crying.

Awww...

Joccy does that. Well, not exactly that. If I raise my voice (yell @ her), or tell her no. She throws herself on the floor, face down and cries. Yes, Yes, Yes, I know, that's a temper tantrum. Lol

I use my voice more than anything.

sws4420
01-19-2007, 12:56 PM
I got the evil look down good. A couple of weeks ago Amber smaked Paige in the head. All I had to do was look at her and she turned away, walked to the time out corner, facedown on the floor and started crying.Dude, you're a redhead. All children have an innate fear of Gingers.

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 12:58 PM
I usually try to tell her why she was in trouble (does not always get through the a small kid) and make her give her sister a hug and kiss.

MedicCook
01-19-2007, 12:59 PM
Dude, you're a redhead. All children have an innate fear of Gingers.

And I am evil.